Rainy Days, Sunny Nights

I look out, my tired feet
Resting on the tattered couch
Just beyond the mind conquered by invaluable sanity.
It was raining, little drops tearing against the glass
Of my bedroom window,
I reach out, an attempt
To touch the passing spirit
Of the transparent presence

I was in stupor, yet again,
Believing everything was real
From the passionate kisses
To the deepest love I had always yearned for,

I write your name in the air,
Hoping my love would be embedded in your heart,
Hoping that once, even just once,
You would live to know,
Somebody has her love for you.

Now that the rain has subsided,
There would always be a rainbow,
Some sunshine to cheer me up,
And I just bury my head
Within what my imagination can grasp
It had always been you...

Your face, the warm smile,
The gentle caress,
The firm grasp...

The first and last person I see
When I close and open my eyes
And illusioned mind and dying heart...

From rainy days
To sunny nights.

Love

The most trivial and important
Experience that could be brought
Upon man

What could love really be?
What could love really do?
What could love make us feel?
What could love make us do?

Is it love when I feel
Like I'm on the top of a pedestal
Singing at the top of my voice,
Eyes closed,
And him in my mind?

Or is it when I lay down in bed
And try to sleep, but
His image appears and
Makes me happily dream?

What could love really be?
It may be the funny feeling
In my stomach, or
The sudden chill and warmth
When his presence suddenly
Embraces me.

It may also be the desire
To give everything and
Anything
Just to be with him

What could it really be?
It can be expressed
In a million words,
And still leave a gaping hole
About what it is

And as of now,
Love is something
I'm sure I would be giving him.

The Things That Pain Me

What are the things that
Make me seem like a
Thread of ball
Rolling downhill
Towards the sea -
incapable of treading
and resurfacing towards the
Indistinct water?

What are the things that pain me?
A rubber ducky left alone
in a draining bath tub,
A lone rose desiring sun
and trying to shield itself
Against the stormy wind

What are the things that pain me?
The intimate sound of your voice
Puncturing my insides like I was
Made of stone,

The way you held my hand like it was
The last thing you want to hold

What would be the things that would be painful?
The long separation from your longing kiss,
The sinking feeling of seeing you far,
Not finding me.

The end of my never-ending dreams
Of you holding me like you do to her.

What I Think of You

What do I think of you?
A million times asked,
A million times vaguely answered.

What do I think of you?
I can say you're a firefly
Against my endless evening sky,
The joy
In each moment's passing ploy,
And I can also start to dwindle my words
To passing
Just to make you feel good.

Honestly, what do I think of you?
You're my pianist,
who plays with notes like they're part of life,
whose fingers dances on the white keys
Like it was a bridging gap,
whose wrists do not touch,
because music is delicate.

And what do I think of you?
I ask over and over again.

Honestly, what do I think of you?
The person, who, I'm afraid to lose
Because you were the one
Who gave me something to hold on to.
The person I dream of
Every moment of the day, and every second of the night,
The person I've been longing for all my life
The person I wish to hold in my arms
Like today is the last.

And you ask me again,
"What do you think of me?"
I could say many possible words,
But I could only stare and,
Smile, making my eyes wrinkle,
And mutter,
"I think you're great. She's lucky."
She really is.

Thank You For Keeping Me Alive

As I walk the star-studded horizon
Of my empty future,
Going along the endless river
Where tears were shed
And hearts were broken,
You pulled me into the forest
Wherein the green grows,
Life was basked under the shining sun,
And thus,
My temporary redemption

I stopped living,
I walked on earth like a mindless being,
Occupied with the world's trivial problems,
I stopped feeling happy,
Knowing I couldn't be revived,
Knowing I fell deep into the black hole

But you pulled me out.
You kept me alive.
You told me to breathe, and see the world,
You told me it's not over,
You told me I wasn't dreaming,
And you held on to me,
Like it was my last day on earth.

My Desire for You

My desire for you is inevitable,
Like how each day starts
With the sun coming up on the east
And setting down on the west
Like caprices undead from a living garden
and like how you disappeared all of a sudden

My desire for you is unforgettable
Because you made me remember
I can be worth more than everything to someone
Like how you made me feel
I did to you

My desire for you is intangible
Like how I see darkness when I close my eyes
Like how I see illusions when I look up the burning sun
And raise my hand to shade my eyes

My desire for you is death -
Inevitable, unforgettable, intangible.

My desire for you is
The kiss of dew on the leaves when morning comes -
Inevitable, unforgettable, intangible.

My desire for you compliments my love -
Inevitable, unforgettable, intangible.

Escape

Destiny rocks the world
With its treacherous lull
And will catch one or two unexpected
Just as the sun's going down

Destiny doesn't ask one,
Because it doesn't accept anything,
It only gives
And answers subtly,
Or excruciatingly bluntly.

Destiny took its toll,
With the struck of dawn,
And the entrance of twilight
Over the sun-beamed hell
Burning my tattered flesh
Just as stinging my toes

Rock me, O Destiny,
Sing me your lullaby,
And maybe, just maybe
I can say goodbye.

Humans and Love

Humans are fragile
Not only hearts.
Humans are vile,
Not only their hearts.

If a person's heart is taken away,
Only the pain in the chest will delay,
But the tears will still flow
And the spirit blown

If there were only two kinds of people,
The loved and the loving,
And the loving loves the loved,
But the loved loves another loved,

Thus, it would still be better
Because genuine love was not altered,
But if there were only players and played,
Not only spirits are broken,
But also egos sunken

Thus, a lesson.

Will vile humans be happy when they play with
True and fragile ones?

Footprints

The length does not matter
The further, the better
Walk one step
Then a second
One by one I'm closer to an end
An end which
I hope will never come

Slowly,
Just slowly
There's no need to hurry
I'm cherishing this moment
Knowing it will bring me
just a little bit further

But it doesn't matter

As I go, the stronger I get
The more independent I become
Shouldn't it be like that?
I walk on this path
Leaving my barren memory behind

I know you would see

My footprints never leave
So do my memory

And I will love you
As long as I walk on this barren path,
As I walk on this empty space,
Until I reach an end -
An end I hope will never come

This is Because I Love You Too Much

Everything I do seems pointless
And nowhere
I see stars because of the
Darks shadows created by clouds
I see nothing but your
Lightened face
Smiling, even not at me

I long to touch your hand
And feel the inexplicable
Sensation of selflessness

I wish you will see who I am
Not for who I am with,
Not for who I seem to show
I want you to see what's under my skin
The nerves of pain that keep me going,
And the stimulants which I keep taking

Then maybe you will see
The sorrow no one else sees,
Nor feels
Because everything seems beyond me