The Call to God

Driven to the lonely decision
Of mere existence,
I function as a marionette
Energized by power-deprived current
I plaster a smile because they smile
I love because they love
I'm an imperfect reflection
Against the world

When darkness falls,
When the flat separation seeps in,
In the depths of my wandering thoughts,
I whisper, I call, I scream
For God alone can hear

I shut my empty eyes and prayed hard
I prayed for a plant of any kind to keep me company in nights like this
I didn't ask for a flower of the prettiest kind,
Or a cactus which can live through drought,
I asked for a plant, a simple insignificant plant

On a day like any other,
I decided to sail far away
To seek more thoughts and my thoughts alone,
Envelop myself in a humorless cocoon

After a bit of waiting, no colorful flying butterfly came to be,
But God chose to answer my prayer
In the most indistinguishable way possible

Wrapped in my cocoon, warped in my own sense of world,
A plant housed me, took me in and held on to me
I stopped for a while, and opened my eyes
From the core of my being, I wanted to hold on

God answered my prayers and gave me more
and less of what I asked for
He held onto me, I held onto him
But what He didn't choose to give was most precious,
He didn't give time
And all for this short while, I held onto him
Too soon, be apart.

Hands

Sleepless nights
Again and again
Unchanging
Restless
Never there

Tonight
On my bed I lie
Awake
Seeking your hand
A lifeline,
A constant

An inch, a foot
Away
Farther
I touch
Another's

And I miss you.

Nights

I stay awake at night
I hear your voice
I see your face
And my mind can't keep you out
My heart insists on
Not letting you go

When I manage
To shut my eyes,
I wake up with tears
I keep crying

Loving you was always painful
It still is
You brought joy
You brought tears
And now you bring pain
Like a dove carrying death
On its wings

I shut my eyes for
The nth time
Tonight
And wish I won't
Remember

Walls

The walls around me
Won’t crumble,
Or decay

The walls around me
Are indestructible and
Ruthless

The walls around me
Won’t go down to ruins

The walls around me
Live like iron-fisted seeds
Along the crash of waves
Against the coast

The walls around me
Grips my heart,
Sears my soul,
Strips me of life

The whispers from the inside
Capturing my sins,
my pride, my love,
my sense of feeling
and being

I walk down on a path
that presented “life”
And I see that

The walls around me
Won’t be left behind.

Homeless

In this old place,
Where flowers bloom and wither,
And where seas keep crashing
Against the sun-burnt sand,
I find no shelter
To keep me from
The defying odds of nature

On this land,
I found hope and terror,
I smelled fear and anger,
And I felt joy

From this dire environment
I run away

I keep going places -
Everywhere it's the same
My belongings are packed -
Always ready to be grabbed
For my leave

And people think
'Is a fugitive in their midst?'
But a fugitive will,
And always be sought -
He is existing and chased
As to I
Have no person to keep me down

because I have no home to keep.

Music Box

I've turned the key
Let it played, turn
Round and round,
Let it enticed me in its wonder
Wound up its music
Around my head

Created an illusion
That made me happy

As the key staggered
Its way to its last rhythm,
Melody,
It robbed me of my tears

It finally ended
Finally closed.

And took my heart away from me,
Then broke its key.

Tears

To sing mutely
And dance without music
Is like falling in love

In the empty abyss
Of substance abuse
Where everything but nothing
Is a haze full of pain

And where shall we wait?
Until when should we wait?

When we're dying cold and shameless,
Brooding and sad.

Intellects suffer because they think
Of others not thinking,
Of others not feeling

Where do we feel filled hollows
With boiling madness?

Will you hold on
When alarm bells ring,
Sounding through an
Empty dark room.

There, we end.